Crazy Christians

OK, so I admit I have been going a little hard on the Muslim faith a little of late, so time for poking a little fun at the other main faith in the Middle East, Christianity.

In the north of Syria, near Aleppo - in what was in biblical times known as Antioch, is a place called Qalat al Samaan , or the Basilica of St Simeon. Simeon, born around 400AD was your run of the mill shepherd, who went on to become a monk, and then left the monastery to go and live in a cave - the monastery not being an ascetic enough lifestyle for him. Just like these days, people who live in caves and claim to be closer to God seem to attract a lot of attention, and before you know it solitary seeking Simeon was so besieged by admirers that he had a pillar built so that he could escape the great unwashed (and probably so he could be a little closer to God) Now stopping there for a moment I think that is probably enough irony for an entire blog entry but the story goes on. It seems the pillar dwelling only made him more famous, so as more pilgrims arrived Simeon felt the need to get even higher, so that after forty or so years of pillar dwelling, he was now leaving at around 18 metres off the ground. Apparently he gave sermons and answered questions, but no women were allowed - except that we all learnt from the stoning scene in the Life of Brian that even in those days gender was pretty fluid. Seems Simeon's desire for more solitude only made him more famous, and he set off a fashion for pillar dwelling which swept the known world. The authoritative Lonely Planet says that when Simeon kicked the bucket, or fell off his pillar to use a more appropriate expression, he was the most famous person in the world - a bit like a fifth century Paris Hilton. Anyway, being so famous, they built the world's then biggest church over his tomb, to ensure that in death as in life, he would never have a moments' peace.

Oh, and that little rump of rock in the middle is what is left of his pillar, pilgrims over the years have each nicked a bit leaving the pillar not quite so impressive

On a wing and a prayer (II)

I finally got around to leaving the US & A, after a brief visit with Sarah in Fort Worth, Texas. As I step on to the plane I think to myself, maybe silver was a good colour for American Airlines to paint their planes back in the 50's, but with all those rivets, and with the fact that nobody has been using that Nufinish magic silver polishing stuff they used to advertise on TV, the planes look like they are from the 1950's. Stepping on to the plane I am not exactly overwhelmed with confidence - a common occurrence it seems for us folk who travel on budget airlines.

About an hour in to the flight I get up to go to the toilet I what do I see the air hostess reading as I walk past - yep you guessed it the Holy Bible. On a closer inspection it turns out to be the book of Samuel - only the old testament in these parts. (The book of Samuel is aboout Saul trying to get in God's good books but failing because he was disobedient - if you wanted to know)

Sitting back in my seat I think to myself, so what does an air hostess reading the bible during a flight tell you ?
a) the plane is about to crash and we are all damned

b) we are all damend and thus the plane will crash

c) whether the plane crashes or not we are all damned (so vote for Bush)

d) all of the above

Anybody got any suggestions ?