WELCOME TO MANILA - YOU WANT GIRL

First impressions count for a lot, especially when you have less than 24 hours to take in a place as chaotic as Manila. Taking the advice of a fellow traveler I walked out of Manila airport, just as darkness was falling on what was supposed to be a 3 kilometre walk to a nearby hostel. Needless to say, without a map, I took a wrong turn and got a little lost, clearly experience counts for nothing.

The first people I met on my way were a woman and her children pushing a cart which contained their livelihood, concealed under a piece of plastic. Tourists in the Phillipines are called Joe, presumably after the GI Joe, so I was greeted with the rather confusing, "Hey Joe, what's your name ?" After working her way through the usual questions (age, country, destination) and the introduction of her three children she then asked, "Do you want a women ?" I managed to restrain myself from saying, no thanks I am more a guy kind of bloke, recalling that such an answer usually ends up causing more trouble than it is worth. So instead I conjured up a wife, and was immediately asked where is she, to which I replied, at home working, which thankfully ended that line of discussion, and moved the conversation on to the final topic - "Hey Joe, give me some money". When that didn't work, the children then proceeded down the list, clothes, chocolate, and finally, water - none of which I had, so I was abandoned.

So continuing on my way, contemplating the swiftness at which I had been offered a woman (less than 10 minutes in the country) I was struck by how poor a neighbourhood I was in, and how it reminded me of Cuba. In contrast to the meticulous exploitation of footpath space that Thai street vendors engage in, I only encountered randomly and sparsely situated street stalls, with plenty of space to walk in between. What struck me even more was the lack of electrical lighting - most stalls were simply a table with a few odd goods piled on them, with a home made lamp - bottle filled with kerosene, with a rag as a wick, gently illuminating the goods on sale, and casting shadows which danced with the movement of the cars in the background and as the pedestrians passed on the street. The goods for sale, both on the stands and in shops were very limited in both type and quantity, several shops I saw had empty shelves, with one or two things for sale piled together in the middle of the shelf. After the abundance in Thailand it was almost eerily strange, and very Cuba-esque.

The other thing that struck me, almost literally, was the traffic, which due to the American influence was on the right-hand side, and was full of Jeepneys. Apparently Jeepneys are the remnents of the Jeeps the American army used, which the Filipinos talk to heart, and then turned in to a particular art form - both in shape and decoration. Picture a hearse, made of stainless steel polished to reflect as much light as possible and you are almost there - the Jeepney seems to disobey the laws of physics and engineering principles and appears as though the hand of God herself has simply stretched an ordinary car in to a people mover. Then add a supplication to the Lord to protect the driver and vehicle, a name plastered across the windscreen obscuring the view of the said driver, and then cover the rest of the vehicle in coloured paint and neon lights and you have a standard Jeepney.

As I continued on my way (in the wrong direction) I also passed a few stand up urinals, in fact in a stretch of a kilometre I counted five of the beasts . They are bright orange corrugated iron, bent in to two opposing half circles, so you can slip inside and urinate to your hearts content, knowing that only your legs to your knees and above your shoulders can be seen by the world at large. This left me with two questions, why so many and what about the fairer sex (all the urinals were labeled for males)

The last first impression I had was the poverty. Later, after I had been gladly assisted by a very helpful Filipino student who sent me in the right direction, I headed out to dinner. In a stretch of no less than 500 metres I was accosted by about 20 different children, almost all were mostly naked, and were begging for simply a peso - there are about 35 pesos to the Aussie dollar.

And finally, it appears that Danny and Nicole Kidman would be at home in Manila. Manila is BMX heaven - who would have thought you could adapt the BMX in to a mode of public transport. Enterprising Filipinos have coverted BMXs in to rickshaws, and fang around the smaller streets shuttling passengers here and there with speed , precision and the odd bunny hop.