Deciding to immerse myself in the local kultcha I endured a couple of hours of back to back country music - interrupted every once in a while by an announced who gave the latest news on what some country singers were up to, updates on the weather - dry and hot, tending drier and hotter, and some tips about how to completely decimate fragile soil in you all terrain vehicle. (Unfortunately I didn't hang around to hear the shootin' and huntin' tips)
I was on a big interstate highway, and as the landscape was fairly sparse, I was able to give plenty of attention to the lyrics of the songs I heard and started to notice a few patterns or genres which each song seems to fall in.
The first is the, he is a good, old southern man with a heart of gold, living in a small town, like his papa did, with his good woman wife and his kids, tending the land by hand, and sitting on the porch of his hand built cabin. Essentially this genre has no conflict, other than to show how much better things were in the past - especially since there are no pesky natives, blacks, feminists, anti-gun freaks etc etc.
This category has been modernised, with its leading song entitled "Thank god I'm still a guy", a forceful statement by country men against the whole metrosexual movement. Apparently being a guy involves: truck drivin', bull ridin', gun carrying, being proud of the flag (and one might also suggest tight jean wearing, hanging with other guys and spending a lot of tie pooishing those boots and getting the hair to sit just right). Here and there a woman might try and change her guy - but that's like asking a man who drives a Ford to try a Chevrolet.
Obviously this makes country guys extremely attractive, so there is a genre that talks about how well bred woman (yes I heard those very words) are attracted to country boys - much to the disgust of their parents, who spent a lot of coin sending their daughters to expensive schools to learn manners, comportment etc etc
Now I admit I have really been skirting around the edges of country music genres, at the heart of country music lies one key theme - love. Now of course this category has a whole range of subgenres - from the famous Stand By Your Man category to the corny, We Met in High School and Are Still Together category to the Despite the Fact that I am a Big Fat Red Neck I Still Managed to Convince Her That I am Worth It.
My favourite however was what is known as the Anti-Love Song, which can be basically summed up as You Were the Biggest Mistake I Ever Made and You Suck. The interesting thing is that this is a genre open to both men and women - which leads me to the favourite line I heard during my country music marathon - and I quote
You can just feel a Jerry Springer episode coming on !!So go ahead and tell your friends that I’m obsessive, and crazy,
That’s fine I’ll tell mine you’re gay! And by the way-
I hate that stupid old pick up truck you never let me drive,
You’re a redneck heart break who’s really bad at lyin’
Just watch me strike a match on all my wasted time,
As far as I’m concerned, you’re, Just another picture ta burn.
There’s no time for tears, I’m just sitting here, planin my revenge
There’s nothin stoppin me, from goin out with all a your best friend
At the end of the day, there is a lot of men (probably with facial hair) singing about their feelings towards women and cows, whilst trying to remain manly. I guess they think they are pulling it off.
And to finish on a laugh check out this blog post entitled "Make McCain condemn country music"
in response to some commentators blaming Obama for rap music, the author calls for John McCain to distance himself from country music..... touche
1 comment:
Did you ever hear the classic one "She thinks my tractor is sexy"
"KYKO colorado country" is the only station we get up here at buttfuck idaho mine.
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